25 Days

Today I find myself really missing Bud and wishing he was here to witness of this excitement that is going on. He would have truly loved to have been a part of my wedding and I know he would have adored Danny. If for no other reason than Danny loves me. It is really hard to think about him not being there on that day. I have a great step-dad and dad that will be there, but I just feel like Bud should have been there. There will be a special section of our program for those that can't be with us on the day, but I wish there was something else different I could do for him.

suggestions are welcome!

Other than that....life is good. Unemployment is definitely helping with the wedding stress. I have plenty of time to talk to all the vendors and get all the details finalized. Its also really nice to spend some quality time with the fiance. We are making a day trip to San Marcus tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about it. We are going to buy some things for the house and hopefully a few things just for us also! :)

Thats all I have for now.

33 Days

So I am no good at updating this thing! So much has happened since the last post and I dont even feel like it was that long ago.

welp, to sum it up, I'm no longer employed and currently looking for a job. I was laid off about a week and a half ago. It is a blessing and a curse. I miss all of my friends at the office, but this is also allowing for plenty of time to get some other things done for the wedding.

For example, today Danny and I did wedding bands. I got all kinds of giddy when I saw that ring on his finger. It made me so happy. What else is left. I have emailed our lady for the programs and I'm still working on the "To our friends and family" section. I'm open to suggestions if you have any.

All the girls have their dresses and the parties have now started. 2 showers down! These things are so much fun. It is so exciting to be able to spend this absolutely amazing time in my life with so many people I love and care about. I've also had my best girls with me along the way. These girls are absolutely perfect! I couldn't have asked for a better group and they continue to make my life better and easier on a regular basis. This weekend is the bridesmaids luncheon. I get to give the ladies their gifts and just spend some quality time together. We are going to Rise in Dallas which is an absolutely AMAZING restaurant. the dessert was like strawberry air! heaven right here on earth.

I am doing my very best to take all of these moments in and enjoy every last bit of it. I'm enjoying everything that is happening but I want to make sure that I remember all that I can. I know that the wedding day will be a blur but I'm hoping if I make an effort to soak it up that I'll remember it. I'm most excited about our final dance of the evening. I think it is going to be absolutely romantic. Everyone will be out there waiting for us to make our exit and we will have a last dance in the empty room. Doesn't that just sound amazing? I love the idea.

Ok....until next time and hopefully it is before the wedding. haha!

81 days and counting

So, As you can see it has been quite a while since I last posted....I don't think I have any followers so I don't really feel the need to apologize for that.

Here is a list of events to the few things that have happened in the life of Hilary in the past month I guess...

I'm brilliant and forgot to sign the tax refund so we are STILL waiting on the lovely IRS to send us our big check so we can purchase our glorious honeymoon. This brings to me yet another fun little detail....I think we may be switching the venue for the honeymoon...After comparing prices between St Lucia and the Dominican Republic there is an obvious choice. Given that the two locations are relatively the same and we can still get all inclusive both places...I dont see the point is spending 2K extra dollars....do you? Especially after I get to the next update.

I have officially totaled my lovely Jetta. The car I fought so hard to get and truly was my "dream car" if I had one. I was sitting at a red light with the rest of Thursday morning traffic, light turned green, everyone started moving and then the guy in front of the guy in front of me stopped for no good reason.....take a look at the damage to Greta the Jetta:



Lets just say a totaled car was not in the family plan. After much stress and tears and saying goodbye to that car I loved so much....I have replaced her with this, meet Maxine,


She is truly a lovely car and I'm loving getting used to driving her. On the same day that I bid farewell to Greta, My amazing fiance spent 4.5 hours wheeling and dealing with the great folks at a Nissan dealership in order for me to have something to drive that we could actually afford. The affordability part was key.

also on this wonderful, my mom and best friend Tiffany went with me to the final fitting of the dress. I feel more beautiful everytime I get to put that glorious thing on. I absolutely love it. Tiffany is going to have a great time bustling that bad boy. Lots of ribbons.

We also purchased the flower girl dress that I think is probably one of the cutest things Ive ever seen....


If you don't love it you can keep your comments to yourself!

speaking of this friend Tiffany I have. I don't think I have given her enough credit lately. I have been a stressed out mess of a person and she is just so even keeled and there to keep me sane! She was having a horrible week last week and so many things on her plate and she still came to my dress fitting because she wanted to be there for me. I am so lucky so have such a wonderful friend that I know I couldn't live without. She also gets to go with me for my bridal portraits next weekend which will be SO much fun!


On a more serious note:

My poor fiance. This man has seen me be a total wreck. I've cried more in the past 2 weeks than I think I ever have in front of him. I get beyond frustrated and seem to take it all out on him like its his fault. That couldn't be more untrue. This is truly the most amazing man I have ever met in my entire life. He loves me unconditionally as do I love him. He wants to make me laugh and fix it when I'm upset. He is perfection. I can't explain enough how amazing he truly is and I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to marry him in such a short amount of time now.

My first shower is coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm so excited for this part of it all. I'll definitely let you know how that all goes considering is my dad's side of the family and I'm not sure about all of them.

81 days and counting..... :)

one of those days....

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like the world could open up and swallow you at any given moment? Days where all you want to do is just go home and cry? Today is one of those days for me. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that my fiance is at home and I'm at work or that its close to "that time of the month," but still. Its just overwhelming. It's like my mind goes a million miles an hour and if something isn't just right...I assume everything is wrong. Does this make sense? Is this normal? Is this just a girl thing?

This is all I have for now....

YAY 2010 and some Random stuff

As I look back on my life I always thought when the year 2010 hit we would have robots driving our cars and everything would be like those crazy futuristic movies. In all reality though, this is not the case. Sure, we have made some great advancements, I'd be lost without my iphone, but everything else is still pretty much the same.

Baseball is America's pasttime
People still drive cars
Everything isn't in stainless steal

ya know...everything is basically a better version of its original self in 2010. That being said, I hope to do the same thing for myself. I want to worry less, stress less, not let the small stuff get to me so easily, enjoy the little things in life, laugh more, weigh less, work out and just all around have a positive outlook on everything and everyone. My first goal in this endeavor is the losing weight. I am looking at losing 15 pounds. I have received some scrutiny for this number, but I feel like its an attainable goal and I know what I currently weigh and stand firm that 15 pounds is not too much. So, I have started working out and eating less. Isn't this really all it boils down to? I haven't had chocolate or sweets in 2 weeks and its going well I think. I'm displaying some real sense of self control and that is always my hardest thing....people bring brownies to the office...I want one. NOT anymore!

This goal is also beneficial to the wedding that I am currently planning to the absolutely most amazing man you will ever meet.

Isn't he cute? This is probably one of my all time favorite pictures of him. Its a real smile and he just looks so happy. Not to mention, we were camping which is also one of my absolute favorite things we do together. He was making us some breakfast and I just felt the need to take this picture. I'm so happy I did. There are also some other greats ones that I will most definitely share with you. No worries.

On another note that is completely unrelated to my goals of 2010 I want to vent a little bit.

In planning a wedding you choose your absolute BEST FRIENDS to stand beside you and support you through the planning and to stand up with you on that day. That being said, I have been more than disappointed in someone that I chose for that day. I had this person I considered a best friend. But, now that I think back on it, in real times of need, I haven't been able to count on this person. At all really. I still love her to death and would do just about anything for her, but I definitely know that I can't really count on her. For example, I asked her to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. After I asked all the girls I sent all the contact information for everyone to the MOH so they could keep in contact about whatever plans they have to do. Meanwhile, I start searching for dresses for the girls, sending out various emails about hair, or just plain feedback on something I'm thinking of. She never responds. She never has feedback for any of the dresses I send, never responds to the MOH about any of her emails. This is just minimal in the issues involving this particular bridesmaid. Then she calls me at the beginning of December, almost exactly 7 months from the wedding. She announces that she is pregnant. At first I am nothing but excited for her. Yes, she just had a baby and that is great also but she has always wanted a big family so I was just happy for her. Then I started to do the math in my head and realizing why she said "you are gonna be mad at me" right before she told me. Her due date was literally 1 week after the wedding. This wouldnt normally be as big of an issue, except her first baby was extremely high risk and she lives roughly 6 hours away and I knew her doctor wasn't going to let her be that far from him so close to her due date. They just dont let you travel, it doesnt happen. For a few weeks we were both dilusional about the whole thing. "Oh well you'll just be huge at the wedding and wont be able to drink at the parties." Then it finally hits me....I can't count on her to be there. I need to be able to count on this person to show up for me and given that there is the possibility she cant come....I have to ask her to step down for my own sanity. So this is exactly what I did. I asked her to step down because I knew I couldn't handle the stress of not knowing and I then asked my dear friend to be the 4th girl. She had the perfect response and I couldn't be happier at this point. Then she calls me a week or so after Christmas and explains that she's lost the baby. NOW...she wants to be a bridesmaid again. I am not doing that. I refuse. I dont really believe in accidental pregnancies when you are married and not on the pill. If she didn't want to be huge or run the risk of not even being able to attend, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant. I mean, my perspective on this whole thing is this. I have been in 9 weddings. Now, some of that is including family, but still. I even called to get permissiong to cut my hair before one of them. I mean seriously. I dont expect the girls to rearrange their life or their life plans for my wedding, but I also dont expect them to be surprised when I tell them what I need and it may not be to their liking. I think she is upset with me because I asked her to be house party to which her response was "my feelings would be more hurt if I was house party". I dont know what that means or even how to respond to that. I am sensitive to her situation and her feelings, but I also have to do what is best for me. Her reactions to everything have only confirmed my decision to replace her. I know I have the perfect girls with me now. The ones I know will be there for me when I'm in an state of chaos and need to be reminded what it is all about. These 4 girls I have now are amazing. I love them all and couldn't be happier, but I am still disappointed with the other.

Ok I'm done venting about that I believe.

I look forward to this blog and hope that I can keep it up. We shall see.....